Hundreds Of Years Ago… They Fought Back!
Starring: Masanori Mimoto, Shuji Kashiwabara, Donpei Tsuchihira, Mika Hijii
Director: Seiji Chiba
2010 | 81 Minutes | Rated R
“This isn’t about winning, it’s about revenge.” – Yamata
If you have spent any time watching any Japanese martial arts, monster or horror movies you already know how crazy Japanese cinema can be. Alien Vs. Ninja is certainly no different.
Iga Clan members Yamata (Masanori Mimoto), Jinnai (Shuji Kashiwabara) and Nezumi (Donpei Tsuchihira) complete a ninja mission and spot a comet flying overhead toward their village. Back at the village they join with Rin (Mika Hijii) and her band of ninjas to find whatever it was that crash landed on earth. As the title implies, it was of course a number of aliens who are killing everyone they encounter. Commence Alien vs. Ninja fights.
Yamata is the leader and “cool guy” of the ninja crew. Jinnai is the orange haired bad ass (probably the first time you have heard of one of those). Nezumi is the slightly chubby, slightly humorous (think of a worse version of Sammo Hung’s humor) bleached blonde inventor ninja. Nezumi is just plain goofy. His inventions don’t seem to ever work. He runs from fights. He wears a goofy helmet that looks like it has three huge bolts sticking out of the top of it. He is the major flaw of the movie. He is intentionally a goof but his shtick gets a little old. Rin is the final member of the group. She is the only female ninja which of course makes her the sex object of the group. Good for her she can kick some ass just like the guys. All of the ninjas wear armor similar to that seen in the Ninja Gaiden video game series. I don’t imagine it is authentic to the time period but neither is anything else that happens.
The aliens look like something straight out of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. They could stomp through Japanese cityscapes instead of battling puny ninjas and we wouldn’t question it one bit. These man in a spiky-headed dolphin suit aliens are weird as hell but they kill every human that they come in contact with.
The one fight that happens before the aliens arrive is between the Iga ninjas and their rivals. The entire affair is completely bloodless and was very reminiscent of a Power Rangers vs. the putties (sorry for the repeated MMPR references, I was a closet fan as a youth). The Iga ninjas dispatch of their foes quickly.
Once the aliens come to town they lay waste to all of the humans. Blood, limbs and organs go flying in every encounter they have.
One rather sexual fight occurs between Rin, the female ninja, and one of the dolphaliens which, after a number of compromising positions, ultimately ends with a groin stabbing death blow by Rin. Nice!
The next fight scene has the few ninjas that weren’t killed by the aliens who were body-snatched via fleshy lizardy insects which emerge from holes in the dolphin’s heads and crawl into the noses of their victims. These ninjas are a tough bunch. They keep fighting even after having their necks turned completely around. Then all of a sudden the enemy ninjas stop and chant “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you…”.
This all culminates in a final absolutely insane fight between Yamata and the last alien including; a katana wielding dolphalien, a machine gun pistol, a pro-wrestling german suplex, an MMA style arm bar, a Mortal Kombat uppercut, alien neck biting, and a dynamite rabbit knife. It really has to be seen to be believed.
Alien Vs. Ninja is a fun, wacky ride. Other than 15 or so minutes at the beginning it is non-stop crazy action. It probably isn’t for everyone but if you have seen and enjoyed similar Japanese action movies or were a Power Rangers fan, be prepared to lose your mind over this wild and crazy R-Rated version of it.