Action Movie Fanatix Review: Order of the Black Eagle

Order of the Black Eagle banner

Evil Forces Are Out To Destroy The World… And Only The Dirtiest Half-Dozen Stand In The Way…

Starring: Ian Hunter, Charles K. Bibby, William Hicks, Jill Donnellan

Director: Worth Keeter

1987  |  93 Minutes  |  Rated R

“Adolph Hitler, he’s alive.  Cryogenically preserved.” – Duncan Jax

When Neo-Nazis attempt to bring Hitler back to life who do you call?  Jax… Duncan Jax.

Prepared to protect the destruction of communication satellites, Duncan Jax (Ian Hunter) assembles the best worldwide professional dirty fighters to destroy the Neo-Nazis led by The Baron (William Hicks).  The Special Forces unit also prevents Hitler in his cryogenic slumber from awakening.

With such a cool piece of artwork for the poster design it is unfortunate that Order of the Black Eagle is nothing more than a goofy James Bond style spy action/”comedy”.

Duncan Jax is a clumsy James Bond rip off with a slight case of male pattern baldness.  His sidekick is a tuxedo wearing baboon.  His team consists of Maxie (a former lover), Spike (a knife expert), Cowboy (a quick draw), Hammer (a big bruiser), Special Deliver aka S.D. (not Jones – an explosives expert), Bolt (crossbows)and Juice (a drunk).  Quite a lineup.

The Baron is the dastardly type of villain who wears an eye patch and grows a beard to cover his double and triple chins.  On top of that zee Nazis are always talking like zhis through zee whole ting.  Yaaaah.  Truly frightening.

Oh, there’s action.  Not good action but there is action.  There’s every possible element of action done in nearly the worst way possible.  It’s intentionally bad but that doesn’t make it any less bad.

I guess I was rather disappointed when I found out Order of the Black Eagle was nothing more than an unfunny action/comedy.  I was hoping for something much closer to what the cover promised.  I don’t really need to spend a ton of time blasting this movie for being bad.  It never really tried to be taken seriously.  I imagine it could be fun with a good number of cold, cheap beers but unfortunately that wasn’t my experience.  A good action/comedy should have some decent action and be at least mildly funny and Order of the Black Eagle is neither.

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