Action Movie Fanatix Review: SnakeEater

SnakeEater banner

To Him America Is Just Another Jungle

Starring: Lorenzo Lamas, Josie Bell, Robert Scott, Cheryl Jeans

Director: George Erschbamer

1989  |  89 Minutes  |  Rated R

“Does this mean I don’t get to ride in the car with the little red light on top anymore?” – Jack Kelly

SnakeEater will mark Action Movie Fanatix’s first Lorenzo Lamas review.  My only real exposure to Lamas has been Renegade and his short stint on the Joe Schmo Show.  Hopefully there isn’t a European Casual Pouch appearance.

Ex-Marine Jack Kelly (Lorenzo Lamas) returns home and finds out his parents have been murdered and his sister kidnapped.  He becomes a detective to pursue a personal vendetta to capture a backwoods band of drifters.

SnakeEater is one of those action movies where the writer really tried hard to get away from doing standard guns and fists action by giving Jack a sort of special ability of being really good with booby traps.  The opening scene sees Jack spring a trap which shoots nails up through the floor through two guys feet.  Sorta like Stallone with his explosives in The Specialist.

After the opening drug bust SnakeEater takes a weird turn.  We are introduced to the murderous rednecks who kill Jack’s parents and kidnap his sister.  Is there anything worse than an inbred group of psycho rednecks?  I think not.

Luckily Jack “Soldier” Kelly is on the case.  Everyone calls Jack by the nickname Soldier, even if they have never met him before.  He must look like a Soldier in this weird movie world.

Soldier has a LOT of one liners.  Some funny, some not.  All delivered with the personality of a block of wood.  In actuality, Lamas barely has any non-one-liner lines in the whole movie.

There are some real Renegade moments as Jack rides around town on his favorite motorcycle.  That is before King turns his motorcycle into a motorcycle jet ski boat thing.  Not to ruin the story but King gets killed by the “bear” so I am assuming that Soldier never gets his bike back to its original condition as promised.

Lamas never wastes an opportunity to take his shirt off either and he somehow always manages to be sweaty, oily or wet when doing so.

The pacing of SnakeEater is way off.  The opening couple scenes are pretty slick but then there is a huge lag in the middle prior to Soldier exacting his revenge.

There are some really great bad action movie moments that make SnakeEater worth watching.  I am sure there are better Lamas movies out there (and you can bet I will let you all know when I find them) but SnakeEater is fun enough to justify at least one trip through.

2 thoughts on “Action Movie Fanatix Review: SnakeEater

  1. This : “Lamas barely has any non-one-liners in the whole movie” REALLY makes me want to watch the movie! And this: “some really great bad action movie moments that make SnakeEater worth watching” tells me you’re definitely an Action Movie Freak / Fanatic 🙂 Makes me wonder if I have a favorite ‘bad’ Action Movie . . .

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s