No Man Can Touch Her Naked Steel
Starring: Lana Clarkson, Katt Shea, Frank Zagarino, Dawn Dunlap, Arman Chapman
Director: Hector Olivera
1985 | 70 Minutes | Rated R
“There’s a reason for fighting and entertaining a tyrant isn’t it.” – Argan
After Amazons and Gladiators failed to quench my thirst for sword fighty violence I decided to check out another movie with a very similar plot called Barbarian Queen. And now, after watching, I’m still quite thirsty.
When Roman soldiers invade her village, violate her sister and capture her fiancé, barbarian queen Amethea vows revenge and sets out to free her people.
Well, the movie wastes no time in getting right to what I assume most people are watching it for… violence and boobs. I guess when you only have 70 minutes of run time you have no choice but to dive right in. When a movie opens with a rape scene and a soldier saying “Nothing like a virgin to brighten a man’s morning,” you know you’re in for something *ahem* special.
The sets and costumes are straight out of a renaissance festival. The acting is about the same level. And the sword fighting of Barbarian Queen… downright sucks. The fights looks unrealistic and are often filmed in a way that don’t even show the swords. Who in their right mind thought that was a good idea? A sword fight focusing on the faces of the fighters.
On the plus side, the poster is pretty awesome!
When Barbarian Queen finished I had nothing to say to myself but “What did you expect from a movie called Barbarian Queen?” To expect anything less than a mediocre sword and sandal flick with ample amounts of nudity would have been ludicrous. If that sounds like something up your alley go ahead and give it a shot, otherwise… just don’t.