Action Movie Fanatix Review: Small Apartments

Small Apartments bannerStarring: Matt Lucas, Billy Crystal, Juno Temple, Dolph Lundgren, James Marsden, Johnny Knoxville, Rebel Wilson, Peter Stormare, James Caan, Saffron Burrows, DJ Qualls, David Koechner, Rosie Perez

Director: Jonas Akerlund

2012 | 96 Minutes | Rated R

“Drugs and dumps aren’t free, mom.” – Tommy Balls

There is literally one reason that I decided to watch this movie. Dolph Lundgren. That’s it. There is nothing else that gave me any desire to check this out. Mr. Lundgren (as I call him) is also the only reason I am posting this review on Action Movie Fanatix. It’s billed as a comedy… no action… so I will probably keep this pretty short and to the point. Is it funny? I’ll let you know…

Franklin Franklin (Matt Lucas) lives alone in a small apartment. He plays his alphorn to soothe his nerves. He gets a package from his brother every day in the mail with finger nail clippings and audio tapes of his crazed ramblings. He drinks Moxie soda and eats pickles with mustard on them. Oh, and he killed his landlord.

Well, needless to say this movie’s pretty weird. The characters are all weirdos. The story is pretty off the wall. I don’t really know what to say. I found myself still interested despite the goofy indy movie plot and characters.

Small Apartments Dolph LundgrenDolph *ahem* Mr. Lundgren plays Dr. Sage Mennox, an over-tanned self help guru who teaches the readers of his books and purchasers of his seminars how to build Brain Brawn. It’s kinda funny but he really only has a few minutes of screen time. I kind of expected as much.

Small Apartments manages to be interesting, mildly entertaining, slightly comical, sad, disturbing and downright gross… but never actually laugh out loud funny. I don’t know if the director envisioned this as a true comedy so maybe it is unfair to base my review on whether or not it cracked me up. There’s a positive message tacked on at the end that feels both endearing and SUPER cheesy. In short, I weirdly enjoyed Small Apartments and I clearly can’t articulate why.

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