Action Movie Fanatix Review: Hell Ride

Action Movie Fanatix review banner for Hell Ride

The Rebellion Against All There Is

Starring: Larry Bishop, Dennis Hopper, Michael Madsen, Vinnie Jones, David Carradine, Eric Balfour

Director: Larry Bishop

2008  |  84 Minutes  |  Rated R

“Guess I’m gonna live another day.” – Pistolero

Synopsis:
The Victors and the Six-Six-Sixes, rival biker gangs, refuel their decades-long rivalry.


Before I dig in too much, let me just say that the only reason I bought this movie was because of the cool cover artwork.  I’m not a fan of biker movies.  I’m not especially a fan of anyone involved other than maybe Vinnie Jones.  I had just seen the movie on the shelf at Best Buy MANY years ago.  It took me a long time to actually watch the movie all the way through.  I tried a few times and got bored within a few minutes.  I finally decided I wanted to get the movie off my shelf for good but wanted to watch the thing one time before selling or giving it away.

It’s no shocker that Tarantino was involved, even if it was only at a financial level.  It would fit right in at a 1970s drive-in.  The dialogue is boring and unimportant.  Things like “Pistolero kept his word.  He made a vow to the three Bs.  Bikes, beer and booty.”  The movie jumps around from one dive to the next, attempting to advance this lousy excuse for a story, which boils down to two gangs fighting over essentially nothing.

hell-ride-gang

Bikes, beer and booty…  that’s basically the extent of this movie.  It bounces between scenes of the guys riding their bikes through the desert, drinking beer (or doing coke or peyote) or banging chicks.  I imagine they had fun making the movie but it isn’t exactly fun to watch.  I guess I’m not interested in watching guys ride around on their motorcycles and even less interested in hearing them talk about their beefs with other guys who ride motorcycles.

Vinnie Jones is the one saving grace of the movie.  Billy Wings is his typical sociopathic badass badguy.  But his scenes are all too short.

Maybe if you are into this sort of biker culture, you will find this to be a cool flick.  I’m not into it.  I don’t care about motorcycles or motorcycle culture.  I just look at these guys as old, worn out dudes, clinging to the thought of being cool for just a few more minutes.

ADD IT TO YOUR COLLECTION!!!

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